1 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,058 -[knocking] -[Abby] Antoine! Open up! 2 00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:17,601 What the hell? 3 00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:18,852 We're being evicted? 4 00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:21,230 Oh, I'm sorry. Is your name Ethan O'Brien? 5 00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:22,898 Because that's the name on the lease. 6 00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,483 This is an illegal sublet. 7 00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:26,318 How many times do I have to explain this? 8 00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:28,654 Ethan's a pilot whose passion is the open air. 9 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:29,821 Nice try. 10 00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:33,242 Your little boyfriend moved to Nashville to launch his music career. [chuckles] 11 00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:35,619 Oh, I did my detective work, girlies. 12 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:39,748 ♪ Just need my lady and a truck ♪ 13 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:40,874 No, no. 14 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:43,544 "No, no" is right. His music is terrible. 15 00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:45,295 That is time I'll never get back. 16 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:48,924 So, go gentrify some godforsaken corner of Brooklyn like everybody else your age. 17 00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:51,426 I'm not cool enough for Brooklyn. They'll eat me alive. 18 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,053 [Abby] Antoine, please. 19 00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:56,139 We are just a poor, racially diverse pair of friends 20 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,809 trying to make it in the big city. I work in the arts. 21 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,562 -And I'm an investment banker. -[whispering] Shut up. 22 00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:04,982 Okay, this conversation is over, but if you'd like to continue this rant, 23 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,442 go blame the guys who live across the hall from you. 24 00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:09,111 They're the ones who told me. 25 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,572 -[both] What? -And it wasn't even in passing. 26 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:14,199 -[both scoff] -They do not like you. 27 00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:17,119 [♪ funky, upbeat music playing] 28 00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:18,954 -No, no, Antoine, no, Antoine. -No, Antoine. Wait, what's that-- 29 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:22,708 [whimpering] 30 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,423 [♪ funky music continues] 31 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:35,679 -[knocking] -[♪ music stops] 32 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,264 -Hey, buddy. -[Kel] Josh. 33 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:38,890 [clearing throat] What's going on? 34 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,267 I was asleep. 35 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,853 We heard you crying all night. You wanna talk about it? 36 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,980 Or at least take off Vivian's robe? 37 00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:47,065 It's giving Silence of the Lambs. 38 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:50,402 But this robe is the only thing I have left to remind me of her. 39 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:51,862 See how you feel after you eat. 40 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,447 We got you a bacon, egg, and cheese. 41 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,450 -[Josh] Thank you. -[Davis] Of course. 42 00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,201 But that's your last one. 43 00:01:58,285 --> 00:01:59,536 You're single now. 44 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,330 You gotta get rid of this love lard. 45 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:02,998 Don't call him fat. You're gonna give him a complex. 46 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,082 Good! 47 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,876 Body positivity is only for women. 48 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,295 They can look however these days, but we gotta be ripped. 49 00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:10,756 And no girl is gonna want to jump on those gorgeous bones of yours 50 00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,257 with your ex's stuff lying around. 51 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,469 Put her stuff in here. I've got a job interview today. 52 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:16,970 I could drop it off at her place on the way. 53 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:18,805 Will you tell me what she says about me? 54 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:19,890 No. 55 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,225 Because, honestly, that was a lie. I was just gonna throw it out. 56 00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,269 Take your box. It's too soon. 57 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,647 And anyway, it isn't big enough for all the memories. 58 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,482 [banging] 59 00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:31,485 [banging intensifies] 60 00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:34,571 What the f-- 61 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,239 [dog barking] 62 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,076 Hey! Good morning. 63 00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:42,204 Hi. How are you? 64 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,373 [clearing throat] What a nice surprise. 65 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,792 Care for the blender remnants of a protein smoothie? 66 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:50,462 No, we don't want any of your stupid smoothie! 67 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,964 Stupid? Uh, there's 70 grams of protein in there. 68 00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:56,301 I can't believe you little bitches narced on us. 69 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:59,388 And I can't believe you defiantly glorify criminality. 70 00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:01,682 For months, I've put up with all of your bullshit. 71 00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,850 The girls coming in and out at all hours, 72 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,977 storing your shitty-ass bikes in the hallway, 73 00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:07,437 which you've never once used. 74 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,732 Because the bike seat makes my penis numb. 75 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:15,320 And I'm pretty sure you're stealing some of my Amazon packages. 76 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,239 What? No, no, I would never steal. 77 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,783 Oh, those are your rhinestone flip-flops? 78 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:23,995 Yeah, I like sparkly things. 79 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,706 And I've never said a word. 80 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:28,583 But to be little snitches and get us evicted?! 81 00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:31,336 -That is low, even for you. -I told Antoine never mind! 82 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,296 It was too late by the time you ratted us out. 83 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,090 So you better fix this, or else. 84 00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:36,758 Are you... threatening us? 85 00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,135 You wanna find out? 86 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,845 My girl's from Dorchester, Massachusetts. 87 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,471 Is that a tough neighborhood? 88 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,765 I'm not familiar with local towns in other states. 89 00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:45,726 Well, I'm from Jersey. Ever heard of that, bitch? 90 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,185 -Oh! -Okay, okay, okay. 91 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,520 Hey, we will fix this. 92 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:49,938 Just so you know, it's-- it's not us. 93 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:52,065 -It's just Josh. -Yeah, Josh only wanted the apartment 94 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,734 for his girlfriend, but she dumped his fat ass. 95 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:55,026 Good. [clapping] 96 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,111 Get your flops. 97 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,991 -[clearing throat] Stretched 'em a little. -[scoffs] 98 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:05,704 [♪ upbeat electronic music playing] 99 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:10,250 I can't deal with this apartment shit right now. 100 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:14,504 It's my first real day of work, and I need to make a big impression. 101 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,715 I have decided it's my Alpha Day. 102 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,717 -Your what? -Alpha Day. 103 00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:22,721 Banking environments are famously competitive places. 104 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:26,349 If you're not steamrolling someone, you are getting steamrolled. 105 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,226 Did you get nothing from Wolf of Wall Street? 106 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,312 I mostly remember Leo's naked butt. 107 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,688 It deserved an Oscar. 108 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,608 [AJ] Okay, well, I need to send a message 109 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,444 that says I am hyper-competent. 110 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:40,489 I don't need anyone's help, and I don't love strip clubs, 111 00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:42,199 but I can sit at the bar and eat wings. 112 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:45,285 And hope your boss doesn't remember you called him an asshole and fire you. 113 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,078 [sighs] I was trying not to think about that. 114 00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:48,705 Yes, that too. Damn it. 115 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,166 That one. 116 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:53,960 -Thank you. -Mm-hmm. 117 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,047 -Alpha Day. -Alpha Day. 118 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,382 I am an Alpha! I am a boss! 119 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:02,469 [♪ jazz music playing] 120 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:04,054 [dog barking] 121 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,472 [school bell ringing] 122 00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:09,017 [Kel] Kate, I'm so thankful you found me a job so fast. 123 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,937 You kidding me? We always need substitute teachers. 124 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:15,273 A lot of our staff take lengthy mental health sabbaticals. 125 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:19,319 And, honestly, I was excited to hear from you. 126 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,239 -It's been a minute. -I know. 127 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,407 I got so busy with med school and everything, and-- 128 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,326 Yeah, well, it's great to have you here. 129 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,870 I always thought you had the kind soul 130 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,706 -and warm eyes of an educator. -[chuckles] 131 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:34,709 Um, I'm-- I'm really here for the schedule. 132 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:38,171 Substitute teaching will give me a lot of time to focus on auditioning, 133 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,882 and I need to book an acting gig before I can tell my parents 134 00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:42,259 that I quit med school. 135 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,761 So, what excites you most about teaching 136 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,180 -is... not being at school? -No. 137 00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:49,015 No, no, no, it's-- it's so much more than that. 138 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,267 [chuckles] I see. Good. 139 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,727 Yeah, I mean, like, I need money for rent, 140 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,729 and groceries, and food, and stuff. 141 00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:57,858 Totally, totally. Well, your first class is at 2:00. 142 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,776 Do I need to stick around until then, or... 143 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,820 I mean, it's not a written rule, but-- 144 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:05,699 -Best job ever. -Uh, I-- Just-- Just to say it, 145 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,535 I know we have a romantic history. 146 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:12,247 A conversation about hummus at a party 147 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:15,667 turned undefined hookup situation. 148 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,836 And I promise you that will not affect 149 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,046 our clearly defined professional relationship. 150 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,548 Thank you, Kate. 151 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:24,676 -I'll see you at 2:00. -I'll see you at 2:00, too, yeah. 152 00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:25,844 -Awesome. -[school bell ringing] 153 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,429 [Kate] Awesome, yeah. [laughing] 154 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,933 [♪ upbeat jazz music playing] 155 00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:33,727 -[people chattering] -[office phones ringing] 156 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,353 [Davis] Ooh, I found you and Abby a listing. 157 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,022 A two-bedroom on Rikers Island. 158 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,149 You mean, Randalls Island? 159 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,567 No, this says, "Rikers." 160 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,194 Fine. Send it to me. 161 00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:45,572 -[elevator doors opening] -[people murmuring] 162 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:46,656 He's here. 163 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:49,784 Who? What is this? 164 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,536 It's Bill, dumbass! 165 00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,998 [whispering] Alphas don't get fired. Alphas don't get fired. 166 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,917 -Alphas don't get fired. Alphas don't-- -Stop whispering! 167 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,794 And throw away your food. He hates seeing people eat. 168 00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,171 How do you eat, then? 169 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,757 A Luna Bar on the toilet! 170 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,884 [♪ "The Boss" by James Brown playing] 171 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,719 ♪ Paid the cost to be the boss ♪ 172 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,515 ♪ Paid the cost to be the boss ♪ 173 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,729 ♪ I paid the cost to be the boss ♪ 174 00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:22,400 ♪ Look at me ♪ 175 00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,027 ♪ You know what you see? ♪ 176 00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:26,780 ♪ You see a bad mutha ♪ 177 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,533 [sighs deeply] 178 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,160 -[inhales deeply] -[clapping] 179 00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:33,495 [exhales sharply] 180 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:34,913 [Bill] Hey! What are you doing? 181 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,122 Get in here! 182 00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:37,999 [chairs rattling] 183 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:45,882 Congratulations, today is the best and worst day of your life. 184 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:49,469 Do any of you consumer and retail experts 185 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,137 know what Yarn Barn is? 186 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,639 Launched in 2013 by Roland Shumwertz, 187 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,516 it's a St. Louis-based crafting box store-- 188 00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,810 My mom orders all her bedazzling kits from there. 189 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,604 -Are you into crafting? -Do I look like I'm into crafting? 190 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,356 -No? -Correct. 191 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,274 Thankfully, many people are. 192 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:07,195 Yarn Barn is in 37 states and valued at over $3 billion. 193 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,697 Stanson Capital is buying it. 194 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:11,199 -Ellison Grant is doing the deal. -[Bill] Oh, cool. 195 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,659 Someone has the internet. 196 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,870 What you don't know is Ellison Grant fucked the deal last night. 197 00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:18,540 -What? How? -Rookie move. 198 00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,250 They were talking shit about Yarn Barn's founder. 199 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,836 -Roland Shumwertz. -We know his name, Jocelyn! 200 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,880 Finish your story, Bill. It's great. 201 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,718 Anyway, they were on Slack saying his wife is divorcing him 202 00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:32,470 because he looks like a turtle in a wool sweater. 203 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:36,099 But those dummies didn't realize Turtle Face was also on the thread. 204 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:39,561 So now they're out, and we have a chance to poach it. 205 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,021 Hey, do I know you? 206 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,524 No. I'm the new first-year. I started yesterday. 207 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:45,734 I've never met you before, sir. 208 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,152 -Are you sure? -I don't know. 209 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,904 Do you go to the Trader Joe's on 31st and 3rd? 210 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:51,948 -What's Trader Joe's? -It's a discount grocery store. 211 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,616 -Founded by Joe Coulombe-- -Ah, ah, ah, ah. 212 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:57,412 Now, at 10 a.m. tomorrow, Roland is coming here, 213 00:08:57,495 --> 00:09:00,707 where he will read the best pitch book you have ever made. 214 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:01,791 Tomorrow? 215 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,710 It takes a week to put together a book like this. 216 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,128 Well, then I suggest you get to work. 217 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,254 [AJ] Bill? 218 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,506 I, for one, thrive under pressure. 219 00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,467 Thank you for putting your trust in us. 220 00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:13,553 Dileep, you're with me. 221 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:16,765 We're meeting Roland at a crafting convention in Cleveland in six hours. 222 00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,767 -Why are you still here? -Oh. 223 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,728 ♪♪ 224 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:24,314 -[machine beeping] -[indistinct PA announcement] 225 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,610 Hey, girl. 226 00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:32,113 I got your green juice and Adderall. 227 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:35,492 You're resting, 228 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,951 so I'm gonna go-- Ah! 229 00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,704 I saw Austin's outfit. 230 00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:41,831 -I can explain. -He looked... 231 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,583 incredible. 232 00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,585 -He did? -I mean, I wouldn't have chosen 233 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,213 that color for him, but you could tell that he loved how he looked. Good job. 234 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:49,672 Did you just say "good job" to me? 235 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,091 Stop, don't make a thing of it. 236 00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,134 So, you're not mad about Blemish? 237 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,594 Oh, no, I am furious. 238 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:57,013 I had a small heart attack last night and I flatlined for two minutes. 239 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,640 But what else could you have done? 240 00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:01,434 It's not like you picked out that outfit and suggested he wear it. 241 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:02,769 Oh, God, no. 242 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,730 Taking advantage of your absence to push my own agenda? 243 00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,524 -I'd get fired for that. -Fired? 244 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,401 You'd never work again. Alright. 245 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,279 I need you to pick up Austin's suit. He's at the Cherry Lane Theatre 246 00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:15,198 rehearsing for some boring play. Go. 247 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,200 -I'm on it. -Wait. 248 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:21,412 You didn't happen to bring any cigarettes with you, did you? 249 00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:23,414 To the emergency room? No. 250 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,874 Just leave. Go. 251 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:32,507 [cans clanging] 252 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:37,220 Hey, is now a bad time to grab a seltzer? 253 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,681 [pallet thuds] 254 00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:40,765 Yes. 255 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:50,108 I'm really sorry, again, for taking your job. 256 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,442 If I had known you were next in line-- 257 00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,319 You'd what, not have done it? 258 00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:57,574 Look, I've been thinking. 259 00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,034 If you like, I could put in a good word with my dad. 260 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:02,036 He burns through his assistants. 261 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,664 But he hasn't met you yet. Right? 262 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,833 Excuse me, I gotta go get my lumbar support belt, 263 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:10,044 as I've got 20 more pallets of seltzer to unload. 264 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,882 [phone dinging] 265 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,139 "Dryden Work Text"? 266 00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,851 [phone continues dinging] 267 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,065 What the hell? 268 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,527 They're not even red. they're Vermont Barn. 269 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,613 [dinging continues] 270 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,868 Do you believe this? 271 00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,955 My coworkers have a secret text chain where they call me Joffrey. 272 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,999 -I can see it. -Yeah, I can see it, too. 273 00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:49,626 Evil nepo, son of the king. 274 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,836 That's the problem. They hate me so much, 275 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,047 I'm not even invited to work drinks tomorrow night. 276 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,966 -How do I fix this? -[Kel] Man, they just don't know you. 277 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,385 In the seventh grade, I thought you were a huge nerd. 278 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:02,263 And then I went to your bar mitzvah, and Bruno Mars was there, 279 00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:03,473 and I decided you were cool. 280 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,100 That's neither a compliment nor helpful. 281 00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:08,353 Dude, you're the best person we know. You saved my life. 282 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,063 Wait, Josh diagnosed your arrhythmia? 283 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,606 No. No, I've almost died a lot. 284 00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:13,900 This was Homecoming, 2019. 285 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,526 I drank so much, I passed out in a bush 286 00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,028 and started choking on my own puke. 287 00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:18,863 Luckily, that bush was in front of Hell House. 288 00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,574 Hillel House, the Jewish Affinity Group. 289 00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,534 And it was a mitzvah, 290 00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:25,536 'cause this sweet angel saw me, rolled me on my side, 291 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,830 and removed all my IDs so the cops couldn't call my parents. 292 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:30,750 Yes, be that guy! That guy is awesome. 293 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,502 There's no way your coworkers won't love you. 294 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,212 -Just crash the drinks. -Really? 295 00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,047 Just show up uninvited? 296 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,215 -Yeah. -I don't even like it 297 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,883 when you guys have friends over without asking. 298 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,134 [Davis] No, no, no. Crashing's cool. 299 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:41,678 Wedding Crashers, favorite movie. 300 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,554 Crash Into Me, best Dave Matthews song. 301 00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:46,391 And a crash cart saved my life when my arrhythmia was acting up. 302 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,062 You know what? You guys are right. I'm going. 303 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,815 But I really hate the bar they picked. Should I suggest a nicer one? 304 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:56,901 -No, man. You're hopeless. -Why do we even bother giving you advice? 305 00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,654 -[fans screaming] -[Abby] Excuse me. Excuse me. 306 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:00,738 Excuse me. 307 00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:02,907 His stylist is just trying to get through, please! 308 00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,242 [fan] Austin, I love you! 309 00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,327 [fans continue screaming] 310 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:12,709 Hi. I'm here to pick up a package for Vanessa Hsu. 311 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,338 -Thank you. Thank you so much. -[Austin] Oh, hey. 312 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:19,966 Oh, hi! 313 00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:22,176 I'm Abby, I work for Vanessa. 314 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:23,803 I dressed you last night. 315 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:25,054 Yeah, I know who you are. 316 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,640 What kind of sociopath forgets someone from 12 hours ago? 317 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,976 You get used to being invisible in this job. 318 00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:32,729 Once, Vanessa stood on my hand for an entire fitting. 319 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,939 I doubt you could ever be invisible. 320 00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,734 [♪ soft music playing] 321 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,485 Uh, you were right, by the way. 322 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,655 The outfit thing. The film wasn't tracking well, 323 00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,657 and now they're thinking about adding more theaters. 324 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,326 So, thank you. 325 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:47,535 Yeah, it's my pleasure. 326 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:49,662 ♪♪ 327 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:52,040 Okay, I'm gonna go elbow my way 328 00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:54,334 through a pack of deranged teenagers. 329 00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:55,918 Yeah, it's crazy, huh? 330 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,837 I tried to go to Joe's to get a piece of pizza, 331 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,797 -and one of them bit me. -Oh! 332 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:01,758 I think I'm gonna have a ZYN for lunch. 333 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,845 Hey, I-- I'd love to see you again. 334 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,638 Wow. [laughing] 335 00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:11,559 That is obviously, uh, beyond flattering. 336 00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:14,687 But I just got my first compliment from Vanessa. 337 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,856 I cannot mess this up. 338 00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:19,317 So, I can't see you like that. 339 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,486 I need to set that boundary. 340 00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:24,530 [chuckles] Wow, yeah. Wasn't expecting that answer. 341 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,324 But sure. 342 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:27,825 I can do boundaries. 343 00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:28,910 Thank you. 344 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,121 I'll see you around. 345 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,707 [♪ upbeat jazz music playing] 346 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,543 -[fans screaming] -[camera shutters snapping] 347 00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:38,628 [school bell ringing] 348 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,214 Normally, our teachers do wear a blazer, 349 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,758 though you look amazing in anything. 350 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,259 -So, I'll take it. [chuckles] -Thank you. 351 00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:48,554 I mean, I-- I just figured I'd-- I'd throw a lab coat over it and... 352 00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,306 Uh, lab coat? 353 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:51,557 You're teaching English. 354 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,142 Did I not mention that? 355 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,478 Sorry. My cat attacked this kid in our building, 356 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,021 and it's become this whole thing, and-- 357 00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:59,899 Okay, but I-- I can't teach English. 358 00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,360 I majored in biochem. The last book I read was Lemony Snicket. 359 00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:04,487 Kel, you love theater. 360 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,864 Plays are just lazy books. 361 00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,282 They're studying Jane Austen. 362 00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:09,992 You know where to find me if you need anything. 363 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,119 Wha-- Kate. 364 00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:12,203 Hold on. Kate, Kate! 365 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,955 [school bell ringing] 366 00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:16,457 Here I go. [sighs] 367 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,543 [students chattering] 368 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,296 Hello, young minds. 369 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,757 I am your new English teacher. 370 00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,342 Uh, Kel Washington. 371 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,885 You guys can call me Mr. Washington. 372 00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:30,263 We don't do that here. We'll be calling you Kel. 373 00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,390 Oh, great. Very casual. 374 00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:34,892 That's what my roommates call me. I like it! 375 00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:39,230 Okay, um, today, I am very excited 376 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:42,775 to dive into... Pride and Prejudice 377 00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:44,694 by... Jane Austen. 378 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,905 It is a book I really love and know a lot about. 379 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:50,825 So, Kel, what's your deal? 380 00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:53,661 -My deal? -Before you try to lie, we looked you up. 381 00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:56,122 We know you were in med school two seconds ago. 382 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,248 What happened? 383 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,499 Did you get expelled? 384 00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,750 I was not expelled, no. 385 00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:03,421 I-- I wanted a career change. 386 00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:05,089 So I took destiny into my own hands. 387 00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:08,259 Kind of like Elizabeth Bennet. [slurping loudly] 388 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:09,886 Who's that? Is she-- Is she another student? 389 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:14,182 She's the protagonist of the book you quote, "love and know a lot about." 390 00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:17,018 [Kel] Right. Of course. 391 00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:21,439 Uh, yeah. Um, well, she seems like a real cool lady. 392 00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:22,607 [Sarah] Jesus, Kel. 393 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,984 Tuition here costs more than most colleges. 394 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,361 Yeah, Angela Merkel spoke at our graduation, 395 00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:30,072 and we booed her off the stage for being boring. 396 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:33,201 So, pray tell, what business do you have teaching here? 397 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,163 Look, I assumed I was gonna be teaching biology. 398 00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:40,625 But here we are. And it's gonna be great. 399 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:43,753 How about we start with chapter one out loud 400 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,464 and everyone picks a fun voice? 401 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:50,009 [loud slurping] 402 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,677 ♪♪ 403 00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:56,849 [Jocelyn] Stop! Oh, my God, you're so funny. 404 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:59,477 Okay, see you soon. Bye. 405 00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:03,356 Guess what? My ex still works at Ellison. 406 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:06,275 It was a very unhealthy relationship for him. 407 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,736 Anyway, he's agreed to give me the inside scoop 408 00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:10,446 on their numbers so we can land this deal. 409 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:11,948 -Huge! -[clapping] 410 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,866 You go. Me and Private Pascarelli 411 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,243 will tag team the models and the deck. 412 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,995 No. I'll do the models and charts myself. 413 00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:19,747 Davis can format the deck. 414 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:22,291 -[people chattering] -[office phones ringing] 415 00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:24,627 Look. 416 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:27,713 I-- I applaud the ambition, but I'm the second-year. 417 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,382 And when I was a first-year, 418 00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,050 my second-year held my hand through everything. 419 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,844 Kwaku and I were two brains beating as one. 420 00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,388 Davis, no offense, 421 00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:38,558 but I've spent the past three summers modeling at Fidelity. 422 00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:39,642 Don't worry. 423 00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:43,938 [computer keys clacking] 424 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,856 [dog barking] 425 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:49,235 It's an urban oasis with picturesque views 426 00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:51,821 of a historically significant Dunkins'. 427 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,322 What the hell? 428 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,199 I'm sorry, are you lost, little girl? 429 00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:56,909 I can't believe you're showing the apartment already. 430 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,411 I have to use my bathroom! 431 00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:00,413 It's Rebecca and Zeb's bathroom. 432 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:02,415 Pending a credit check. 433 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:03,958 [door slams] 434 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:06,168 -[gasps] -[lock clicking] 435 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:07,545 It's haunted! 436 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:08,629 [scoffs] 437 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:12,675 I can't believe you dropped out of medical school to act. 438 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,885 But since it allowed you to be home 439 00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:18,556 during my moment of crisis, I fully support it. 440 00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,099 -Thank you. -Of course. 441 00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,392 Anytime. Seriously. 442 00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,269 I mean, mi baño es su baño. 443 00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:24,437 Okay, bye. 444 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,898 Sorry, are you watching Pride and Prejudice? 445 00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:30,026 Did you put that on to make me think you were sensitive? 446 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,402 -Kel! -What? No, no. 447 00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:34,864 I just got a job teaching English at a girls' school to make money. 448 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,575 And if I don't catch up fast, they will destroy me. 449 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:38,951 Oh. [sighs] 450 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,622 Were they bullying you? Correcting you on the material? 451 00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:45,374 -Yeah. A lot. -Did they ask a lot of personal questions 452 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,210 -with an air of judgment? -Yes, h-how did you know? 453 00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:51,297 Because I was just like these girls, an overachieving little asshole 454 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:54,216 who projected the impossibly high expectations of my parents 455 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,593 onto my teachers. 456 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:58,304 Okay, then help me out, don't just eat my Swedish Fish. 457 00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:01,307 Your only chance of survival is to be so prepared, 458 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:02,850 you make them feel stupid. 459 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:05,645 -I am preparing. I'm watching the movie. -That's not nearly enough. 460 00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:07,480 If they've read the book, you need to read three. 461 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,482 Treat it like you're preparing for medical school. 462 00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,318 Can't I just tell them that I'll fail them if they don't do what I say? 463 00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,236 Wait. What's this? 464 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,323 [Kel] Antoine puts on these sad dance showcases 465 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:18,866 that nobody goes to. 466 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:19,950 Hmm. 467 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,995 -Can I keep this? -Yeah. 468 00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,542 I'm keeping these, too. 469 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:29,960 Sure. 470 00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:31,170 [door opens, closes] 471 00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:33,547 [♪ "I Guess the Lord Must Be in New York City" by Harry Nilsson playing] 472 00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:35,675 [phone dings] 473 00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:39,136 [Abby] I know I set a boundary! 474 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,222 And I do mean it! But I need a favor. 475 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:44,558 ♪ I'll say goodbye to all my sorrow ♪ 476 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:47,186 ♪ And by tomorrow ♪ 477 00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:52,358 ♪ I'll be on my way ♪ 478 00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:55,403 ♪ I guess the Lord must be ♪ 479 00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:59,990 ♪ In New York City ♪ 480 00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:01,283 -[banging] -[♪ music stops abruptly] 481 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,494 The charts in this deck are fucked up! 482 00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:06,205 -Did Davis format the deck wrong? -How dare you! 483 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,082 -But did I? -No. The charts are wrong 484 00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,834 -because AJ's models are wrong. -No, no. 485 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:11,335 That's impossible. I triple-checked everything. 486 00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:14,046 Then why doesn't the book reflect the new numbers I got from my ex? 487 00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,799 I had to agree to go to his dad's 70th birthday for those! 488 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,300 Oh, my God, I was so locked in, 489 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,636 I missed your email and didn't update the models. 490 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,847 I totally fucked up. I'm gonna get fired. 491 00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:25,558 Bill and Turtle Face will be here in 90 minutes. 492 00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:27,184 I'm so sorry. 493 00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:28,811 It's fine. We can adjust the models. 494 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,396 -The problem is-- -Reprinting the book. 495 00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,022 Internal is slammed. We have to go offsite. 496 00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:33,566 Gramercy or Delancey? Gramercy's closer. 497 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:36,068 Yeah, but I know Ron at Delancey. He'll open up early for me. 498 00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,695 Again, I am so sorry. 499 00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:40,698 Stop apologizing. Only apologize if we can't fix this. 500 00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,032 Now, go. I'll call ahead. 501 00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,998 [exhales sharply] 502 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:52,209 Damn, Jane Austen. You can write. 503 00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:56,213 [♪ Muzak playing] 504 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,933 [binding machine cranking] 505 00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:09,810 -[Davis exhales sharply] -[whispering] Hey, Davis? 506 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,230 -[paper rustling] -Uh-- 507 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,860 Hey, man. I'm Davis. 508 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,028 [cranks loudly] 509 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,238 -Love your work. -Mm. [chuckles] 510 00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:25,075 I'm from the South, which is, like, the only place 511 00:21:25,159 --> 00:21:28,037 that still appreciates the importance of a printed invitation. 512 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:32,374 It's like, when did "faster" start to mean "better"? 513 00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:35,211 You know what? Thank you for saying that. 514 00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:38,255 Hey, I feel like a tool just chatting while you're doing all the work. 515 00:21:38,339 --> 00:21:40,007 You mind if I box while you bind? 516 00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:41,592 [Ron] Knock yourself out, buddy. 517 00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:43,177 -Thanks. -Of course. 518 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,056 [binding machine cranking] 519 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:50,142 [rapid knocking] 520 00:21:51,769 --> 00:21:53,103 [gasps] 521 00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:55,523 You had Austin Blanchett tweet about my show? 522 00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:59,485 Yes. Unless that's bad. 523 00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:00,820 It sold out! 524 00:22:00,903 --> 00:22:03,405 I've never been more excited in my life. 525 00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:05,032 I just thought you deserved the hype. [chuckles] 526 00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:07,201 I do! I do deserve the hype! 527 00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:09,578 I can't wait to tell my cousin Mahershala 528 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,289 he's not the only talented one in the family. [chuckles] 529 00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:14,416 -[chuckles] Oh! -Mm! 530 00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:19,338 So... can we stay? 531 00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:22,424 Yes, you can stay. 532 00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:24,468 -Yes! -But someone comparably famous 533 00:22:24,552 --> 00:22:26,887 has to tweet about my showcase once a year. 534 00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:28,347 You have a deal. 535 00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:32,351 And those posters better be held up with tape. 536 00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:35,437 [♪ upbeat jazz music playing] 537 00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:40,401 [car horns honking] 538 00:22:40,484 --> 00:22:42,444 Aw, shit! 539 00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:43,863 There are no cabs, 540 00:22:43,946 --> 00:22:46,907 and the closest Uber is 20 minutes away? 541 00:22:46,991 --> 00:22:49,326 -We have to push back the meeting. -No, no. Look! 542 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,203 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 543 00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:54,540 Sir, I will give you a hundred bucks for that bike. 544 00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:55,833 Yeah, sure. 545 00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:57,251 Alright, come on, hop on. 546 00:22:57,334 --> 00:22:58,794 Uh, where? 547 00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:01,380 -The handlebars, E.T. style. -Oh, God. 548 00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:02,840 AJ, let's go. 549 00:23:04,925 --> 00:23:06,594 [shrieking] 550 00:23:07,177 --> 00:23:09,179 [students chattering] 551 00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:12,141 Hello, everyone. 552 00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:15,311 Just to refresh, I'm Mr. Washington. 553 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,271 You're actually showing your face again? 554 00:23:17,354 --> 00:23:19,148 How Mr. Ferrars of you, Kel. 555 00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:21,942 Ah, Mr. Ferrars from Sense and Sensibility, 556 00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:23,360 Jane Austen's first novel. 557 00:23:23,444 --> 00:23:26,780 Yeah, Mr. Washington did his reading 558 00:23:26,864 --> 00:23:28,782 -and then some last night. -[books thudding] 559 00:23:28,866 --> 00:23:31,201 Kel, are we supposed to be impressed you did your job? 560 00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:33,787 Come on, guys. We're going to Bluemercury. 561 00:23:33,871 --> 00:23:36,248 [Kel] Oh, that's too bad. I was just gonna ask 562 00:23:36,332 --> 00:23:38,667 if Charlotte Brontë was right 563 00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:41,170 when she said Jane's writing lacked passion. 564 00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:42,838 Charlotte was just jealous 565 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:46,091 that Jane's the queen of Victorian literature, and not her. 566 00:23:46,175 --> 00:23:49,094 And I ask, why the need to crown a queen? 567 00:23:49,178 --> 00:23:51,847 No one pits Charles Dickens against Victor Hugo. 568 00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:55,225 Because the patriarchy insists on pitting successful women 569 00:23:55,309 --> 00:23:58,312 against each other, even when they're born 40 years apart. 570 00:23:58,395 --> 00:24:00,522 Let's see what Jane has to say about that. 571 00:24:00,606 --> 00:24:02,483 -She's dead as hell, Kel. -[Kel] Right. 572 00:24:02,566 --> 00:24:05,736 But they published a collection of her letters. [gasps] 573 00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:10,616 I was just gonna see if there was maybe a real-life Mr. Darcy. 574 00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:13,285 -Mr. Darcy was real? -Maybe, Marina. 575 00:24:13,369 --> 00:24:14,536 [book thuds] 576 00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:16,664 But you guys have fun at Bluemercury, 577 00:24:16,747 --> 00:24:19,333 and the rest of us will find out. 578 00:24:21,251 --> 00:24:23,754 M-Maybe we can go to Bluemercury later? 579 00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:26,173 [sighs] Fine. 580 00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:28,801 Continue, Kel. 581 00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:30,970 Mr. Washington. 582 00:24:31,053 --> 00:24:32,554 Mr. W? 583 00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:33,806 I'll take it. 584 00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:35,516 [slurping] 585 00:24:35,933 --> 00:24:38,644 Oh, God! You guys drink that shit? 586 00:24:39,812 --> 00:24:41,730 It's like old lake water. 587 00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:43,023 Davis, go faster! 588 00:24:43,107 --> 00:24:45,401 I'm going as fast as I ca-- [gags] 589 00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:48,153 -[coughing] I just swallowed a lanternfly! -[phone chiming] 590 00:24:48,237 --> 00:24:49,238 We're on our way! 591 00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:50,864 [Jocelyn] [on phone] Hurry up. They're putting out the pastries. 592 00:24:50,948 --> 00:24:52,866 Davis, they're putting out the pastries! 593 00:24:52,950 --> 00:24:55,119 -[both screaming] -[horn honking, tires screeching] 594 00:24:55,202 --> 00:24:56,870 -[AJ] Oh, my God! -[Davis exclaiming] 595 00:24:56,954 --> 00:24:58,664 [AJ] Fucking New York! 596 00:24:58,747 --> 00:25:03,210 -♪ Oh, 25 miles from home, girl ♪ -[phone chiming] 597 00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:06,338 -[Jocelyn] Book five minutes out! Stall! -[elevator dings] 598 00:25:06,422 --> 00:25:07,756 [doors sliding open] 599 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,259 Roland, did you know our offices 600 00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:13,804 have one of the finest private art collections in New York? 601 00:25:13,887 --> 00:25:15,764 Including an Edward Hopper. 602 00:25:15,848 --> 00:25:18,100 -Ooh, I love Edward Hopper. -Shall we? 603 00:25:19,268 --> 00:25:21,395 -We have an art collection? -Yes, it's spectacular. 604 00:25:22,312 --> 00:25:24,690 Oh, thank God. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 605 00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:27,026 [AJ sighs] 606 00:25:27,109 --> 00:25:29,361 -♪ Huh, I got to walk on ♪ -[Davis gulping loudly] 607 00:25:30,237 --> 00:25:32,614 ♪ Whoa, ho, oh ♪ 608 00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:33,907 -♪ I-I, I-I ♪ -After you. 609 00:25:33,991 --> 00:25:36,035 ♪ I'm so tired ♪ 610 00:25:36,118 --> 00:25:39,371 -♪ But I just can't lose my stride ♪ -[gulping, gasping] 611 00:25:39,455 --> 00:25:40,748 -[grunts] -[whimpers] 612 00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:45,002 [♪ "Twenty-Five Miles" by Edwin Starr continues playing] 613 00:25:45,085 --> 00:25:46,754 ♪♪ 614 00:25:46,837 --> 00:25:49,757 ♪ Whoo, come on, feet, don't fail me now ♪ 615 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,301 -♪ Come on, feet, don't stop ♪ -♪ I got ten more miles... ♪ 616 00:25:52,384 --> 00:25:55,179 We're right in here, Roland, as is the rest of our CandR team. 617 00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:57,306 -[♪ music stops abruptly] -Oh. Hello. 618 00:25:58,182 --> 00:26:00,184 [office phones ringing] 619 00:26:00,517 --> 00:26:03,520 [♪ "One Hour To Love Me" by Craig Gildner playing] 620 00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:08,275 ♪ You got just one hour to love me ♪ 621 00:26:08,817 --> 00:26:11,820 [♪ song continues playing over bar speakers] 622 00:26:11,904 --> 00:26:14,448 ♪ Just one hour to love me... ♪ 623 00:26:14,531 --> 00:26:16,533 [people chattering] 624 00:26:17,659 --> 00:26:19,203 [laughter] 625 00:26:19,286 --> 00:26:21,497 -[coworker] You're kidding! -[Elena] No, it was embarrassing. 626 00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:22,956 I didn't teach you that, but... 627 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:24,583 Oh, my God, what are the chances? 628 00:26:26,293 --> 00:26:27,961 I love this bar. 629 00:26:28,045 --> 00:26:30,464 We must have office mind-meld. 630 00:26:30,547 --> 00:26:32,716 -Can I join? -It's kinda tight. 631 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,176 No, this is great. 632 00:26:34,259 --> 00:26:35,636 -[chair thumps] -Ah, this fits. 633 00:26:37,554 --> 00:26:38,847 Excuse me. 634 00:26:40,182 --> 00:26:42,184 So, what's everyone drinking? 635 00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:44,978 I ordered a light beer 'cause sometimes they put an orange in it. 636 00:26:45,062 --> 00:26:46,563 [several phones dinging] 637 00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:48,941 [texts whooshing] 638 00:26:52,611 --> 00:26:55,781 So, Warren, tell me about yourself. 639 00:26:55,864 --> 00:26:58,033 All I know is you're wearing a Rutgers sweatshirt 640 00:26:58,117 --> 00:26:59,827 and eating celery. 641 00:26:59,910 --> 00:27:02,246 Well, I went to Rutgers. Hence the... 642 00:27:02,329 --> 00:27:05,749 Uh, and my wife and I recently lost 150 pounds on Ozempic. 643 00:27:05,833 --> 00:27:07,167 What? That's incredible. 644 00:27:07,251 --> 00:27:09,920 Unfortunately, only two of those pounds were mine. 645 00:27:10,921 --> 00:27:14,424 So, my wife left me and is now teaching spin classes 646 00:27:14,508 --> 00:27:15,509 on a cruise ship. 647 00:27:15,592 --> 00:27:16,593 But I'm happy for her. 648 00:27:16,677 --> 00:27:20,013 I'm so sorry, but my girlfriend just dumped me, too. 649 00:27:20,097 --> 00:27:22,975 So, any night you wanna prowl, I'm there. 650 00:27:23,058 --> 00:27:25,185 Really? Thanks. 651 00:27:25,269 --> 00:27:26,687 Uh, how about you, Chandra? 652 00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:28,522 I see that homemade bracelet. 653 00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:30,816 Kids, or are you just young at heart? 654 00:27:30,899 --> 00:27:33,277 Oh. Both, actually. 655 00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:35,737 I was just telling Warren that my daughter's birthday 656 00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:37,656 is next week, she's turning ten. 657 00:27:37,739 --> 00:27:40,075 And we have no idea what to do for her birthday party. 658 00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:43,912 Ooh. What about those Natural History Museum sleepovers? 659 00:27:43,996 --> 00:27:45,956 I did that for my tenth, and it crushed. 660 00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:48,167 I'm sure, but the waitlists for those are endless. 661 00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:49,501 You know what? 662 00:27:49,585 --> 00:27:52,462 My mom's on the board of the Natural History Museum. 663 00:27:52,546 --> 00:27:53,964 I'll talk to her. We can make this happen. 664 00:27:54,047 --> 00:27:55,716 Oh, my God, that would be great. 665 00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:57,759 [groaning] You're still here. 666 00:27:57,843 --> 00:27:59,845 Oh, sorry, we were just getting to know each other, 667 00:27:59,928 --> 00:28:02,055 and maybe falling in love? 668 00:28:02,139 --> 00:28:04,141 -You guys feeling that, too? -[laughter] 669 00:28:04,224 --> 00:28:06,101 How 'bout you, Elena? What's your deal? 670 00:28:06,185 --> 00:28:08,979 I grew up in Queens. Went to Stuyvesant. 671 00:28:09,062 --> 00:28:10,814 I got into Northwestern, 672 00:28:10,898 --> 00:28:12,649 but it was too expensive, so I went to Hunter. 673 00:28:13,650 --> 00:28:14,776 Is that good? 674 00:28:16,486 --> 00:28:17,487 Yup. 675 00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:20,741 Should I share more stuff about me? 676 00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:23,994 I learned how to juggle last year, which was exciting. 677 00:28:27,706 --> 00:28:29,124 [AJ sighs] 678 00:28:31,084 --> 00:28:32,669 [Josh] Hold the door! 679 00:28:34,046 --> 00:28:35,047 Oh. 680 00:28:35,881 --> 00:28:37,925 -Hey. -Hey. 681 00:28:39,885 --> 00:28:41,887 [elevator whirring] 682 00:28:43,347 --> 00:28:45,682 Congrats, I heard you're not getting kicked out anymore. 683 00:28:47,392 --> 00:28:49,436 [sobbing] I'm such an idiot! 684 00:28:49,519 --> 00:28:51,813 Hey. It's okay. 685 00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:55,150 Maybe? I don't know. What's going on? 686 00:28:55,234 --> 00:28:56,568 I suck at my job. 687 00:28:56,652 --> 00:28:58,779 I almost ruined this whole pitch, and the worst part 688 00:28:58,862 --> 00:29:02,658 is my coworkers fixed it, and they didn't even rub it in my face. 689 00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:05,035 I would have been such a bitch. 690 00:29:05,118 --> 00:29:06,870 -Yeah, I could see that. -[sighs] 691 00:29:06,954 --> 00:29:10,332 I should move back to Boston and work at a European Wax Center. 692 00:29:10,415 --> 00:29:13,001 Hey, I could be wrong, but I think people helping each other at work 693 00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:16,380 is actually what work is supposed to be like. 694 00:29:17,464 --> 00:29:18,924 I guess that's true. 695 00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:20,550 I wish I had that. 696 00:29:20,634 --> 00:29:22,344 There's this one girl at my job. 697 00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:26,014 Cannot stand me. I can't charm her at all. 698 00:29:26,098 --> 00:29:27,766 Oh, maybe don't try to charm her. 699 00:29:27,849 --> 00:29:29,351 Charm is a red flag to girls. 700 00:29:29,434 --> 00:29:31,937 You know who was charming? Ted Bundy. 701 00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:34,022 -I'm like Ted Bundy? -Basically. 702 00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:36,733 -[scoffs] -Why don't you take your own advice 703 00:29:36,817 --> 00:29:38,860 and try to be helpful? 704 00:29:39,945 --> 00:29:41,613 That was good advice. 705 00:29:45,158 --> 00:29:48,537 Hey, I need to get Davis something to say "thank you." 706 00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:50,455 What does he like? Whiskey? 707 00:29:50,539 --> 00:29:52,165 One of those shirts you're not supposed to tuck in? 708 00:29:52,249 --> 00:29:56,003 Honestly, what Davis likes the most is spending time with his friends. 709 00:29:56,086 --> 00:29:58,088 Oh, my God, this fucking guy. 710 00:29:58,171 --> 00:29:59,464 [laughing] I know. 711 00:29:59,548 --> 00:30:00,716 [groaning softly] 712 00:30:01,466 --> 00:30:03,552 Well, uh, good night. 713 00:30:04,553 --> 00:30:05,595 Sorry. 714 00:30:05,679 --> 00:30:07,514 I'll move the bikes. 715 00:30:08,682 --> 00:30:10,767 -[keys jingling] -Hey. 716 00:30:12,102 --> 00:30:13,645 I, uh, need to tell you something. 717 00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:17,983 You were right. We actually do know each other. 718 00:30:18,859 --> 00:30:21,987 Sophomore year, Penn, Model UN conference. 719 00:30:22,070 --> 00:30:24,156 We hooked up. 720 00:30:24,239 --> 00:30:26,074 -Wait, what? -Yeah. 721 00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:28,827 I had long hair back then. 722 00:30:28,910 --> 00:30:30,996 -Oh, my God. -Yeah. 723 00:30:31,079 --> 00:30:32,581 You ghosted me. 724 00:30:32,664 --> 00:30:35,334 Which sucked, but it was a long time ago. 725 00:30:35,417 --> 00:30:37,461 Don't worry about it. Anyway. 726 00:30:37,544 --> 00:30:38,920 Good night. 727 00:30:39,004 --> 00:30:42,007 [♪ "Lady Luck" by Richard Swift playing] 728 00:30:45,093 --> 00:30:47,554 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 729 00:30:47,637 --> 00:30:48,889 [knocking] 730 00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:53,101 Hey. 731 00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:55,187 Hi. 732 00:30:56,271 --> 00:30:58,231 Sorry, are you in the middle of something? 733 00:30:58,315 --> 00:31:00,776 No, I was just finishing my yoga practice. 734 00:31:01,902 --> 00:31:02,986 Why are you here? 735 00:31:04,446 --> 00:31:07,282 At the theater, you said you were too famous 736 00:31:07,366 --> 00:31:08,867 to go and get a pizza. 737 00:31:09,993 --> 00:31:11,495 Now, I'm panicking that you don't remember. 738 00:31:11,578 --> 00:31:13,413 No, I remember. [chuckles] I remember things. 739 00:31:13,497 --> 00:31:14,664 [Abby chuckles] 740 00:31:14,748 --> 00:31:16,708 Well, I just wanted to say thank you 741 00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:18,794 for tweeting about my landlord's dance thing. 742 00:31:18,877 --> 00:31:21,671 I mean, I've never had less likes, but I'm glad he's happy. 743 00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:26,968 Look, I know I said I couldn't go out with you. 744 00:31:28,136 --> 00:31:29,596 But maybe we could be friends. 745 00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:33,141 I mean, I've never really had a female friend before. 746 00:31:33,225 --> 00:31:34,976 -[chuckles] -But, that's cool. 747 00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:37,020 Wait, you're not just gonna ask me for money 748 00:31:37,104 --> 00:31:38,647 and SNL tickets, are you? 749 00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:41,316 Definitely not. Unless Dua Lipa's the musical guest. 750 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,110 -Then, yes. -Great. 751 00:31:43,193 --> 00:31:45,362 Well, ground rules established, friend. 752 00:31:46,947 --> 00:31:49,032 -Good night. -Good night. 753 00:31:49,991 --> 00:31:52,035 [♪ "Waterloo Sunset" by The Kinks playing] 754 00:31:52,119 --> 00:31:53,286 [door closes] 755 00:32:02,295 --> 00:32:06,716 ♪ People so busy, make me feel dizzy ♪ 756 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,969 ♪ Taxi light shines so bright ♪ 757 00:32:09,052 --> 00:32:10,262 [sighs] 758 00:32:11,179 --> 00:32:13,598 ♪ La, la, la, every day ♪ 759 00:32:13,682 --> 00:32:18,311 -♪ I look at the world from my window ♪ -[phone dings] 760 00:32:21,231 --> 00:32:22,858 [AJ] Thank you for everything today. 761 00:32:22,941 --> 00:32:24,693 Can I make you dinner to say thanks? 762 00:32:25,610 --> 00:32:27,612 ♪ Waterloo sunset's fine ♪ 763 00:32:27,863 --> 00:32:28,947 Hell yes! 764 00:32:30,574 --> 00:32:31,575 Yes! 765 00:32:32,909 --> 00:32:37,456 -♪ As long as I gaze on Waterloo sunset ♪ -[car horns honking] 766 00:32:37,539 --> 00:32:40,667 ♪ I am in paradise ♪ 767 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:43,587 ♪ Sha, la, la ♪ 768 00:32:43,670 --> 00:32:49,426 ♪ Every day, I look at the world from my window ♪ 769 00:32:50,802 --> 00:32:52,345 ♪ Sha, la, la ♪ 770 00:32:52,429 --> 00:32:55,015 ♪ But chilly, chilly is the evening time-- ♪ 771 00:32:55,098 --> 00:32:56,433 -[Bill] New person. -[♪ music stops abruptly] 772 00:32:56,516 --> 00:32:58,518 -[gasps] -My office. 773 00:33:02,606 --> 00:33:05,484 Uh, so did Roland like our pitch? 774 00:33:06,526 --> 00:33:08,778 -I know. -Excuse me? 775 00:33:08,862 --> 00:33:11,198 I know how I know you. 776 00:33:11,281 --> 00:33:13,074 You called me an asshole 777 00:33:13,158 --> 00:33:15,410 -and cost me $500. -Oh, my God. 778 00:33:15,494 --> 00:33:17,662 I am so sorry about that. 779 00:33:17,746 --> 00:33:21,208 I had just been for a run. I think my blood sugar was off. 780 00:33:21,291 --> 00:33:22,542 I will see an endocrinologist-- 781 00:33:22,626 --> 00:33:25,754 Stop! Don't ever lie to me again. 782 00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:27,756 I will always find out. 783 00:33:29,216 --> 00:33:30,258 Go. 784 00:33:30,342 --> 00:33:33,637 [♪ "Better Things" by Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings playing] 785 00:33:36,223 --> 00:33:39,851 ♪ I'm a better woman than I have been ♪ 786 00:33:39,935 --> 00:33:41,061 Okay, Mami. 787 00:33:45,357 --> 00:33:49,653 ♪ It takes two to love but only one to leave ♪ 788 00:33:49,736 --> 00:33:54,115 ♪ It was you who did that dirty deed ♪ 789 00:33:55,534 --> 00:34:00,205 ♪ It's a brighter day than ever before ♪ 790 00:34:00,288 --> 00:34:02,040 ♪ I got a new life ♪ 791 00:34:02,123 --> 00:34:05,168 -♪ And I'm feeling right on ♪ -[phone dings] 792 00:34:05,252 --> 00:34:10,423 ♪ My head is high and my spirit is strong, ah ♪ 793 00:34:12,008 --> 00:34:13,677 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 794 00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:16,388 ♪ Mm, mm ♪ 795 00:34:19,015 --> 00:34:24,521 ♪ I got better things to do, better things to do ♪ 796 00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:28,900 ♪ Better things to do than remember you ♪ 797 00:34:28,984 --> 00:34:34,406 ♪ I got better things to do, better things to do ♪ 798 00:34:34,489 --> 00:34:38,493 ♪ Better things to do than remember you ♪ 799 00:34:38,577 --> 00:34:40,370 ♪ Uh-huh ♪ 800 00:34:41,538 --> 00:34:43,331 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 801 00:34:44,457 --> 00:34:45,959 ♪ Mm, mm ♪ 802 00:34:50,297 --> 00:34:54,467 ♪ It's a brighter day than ever before ♪ 803 00:34:54,551 --> 00:34:58,305 ♪ 'Cause I don't think about you no more ♪ 804 00:34:59,472 --> 00:35:04,352 ♪ I got a new life and I'm feeling right on ♪ 805 00:35:04,436 --> 00:35:07,647 ♪ My head is high and my spirit is... ♪ 806 00:35:07,731 --> 00:35:08,732 [voice] Go to bed.